I think I'm definitely in this for the long run. As in, I'm going to post once per day for a year. I've been wanting to do this for a couple of years now, and it's hard to believe I actually am going through with it. Although "going through with it" makes it sound like a chore. It really isn't. Today I was thinking about the title of my blog, and it didn't seem as great. It seemed more pompous and pretentious than anything else. But I'm going to stick with it, give it a chance, and see how it goes.
Today I heard a song on the radio that was my boyfriend's and my song. I was in 11th grade and he was in 10th grade the year that we dated. My 9 year-old son was in the car with me, and it made me wonder if he had any remote idea of what the lyrics meant. I highly doubt it, but perhaps he wondered. He didn't ask. But listening to that song with my son made me realize that there are some aspects of my life that he will never know about. Obviously some of these things should be kept private, but sometimes those are the things that really shape who we are as people and why and how we change. And I wondered: just what don't I know about the lives of those who I love and care about? And does it really matter?
I actually think that it does, although it would make me extremely uncomfortable to share the truth with almost anyone. But the things I'd rather not tell anyone, they give me depth and badness and hopefully, ultimately, some redemption. Otherwise, I'm just some English teacher who is married with two boys.
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